Just because someone has a title, it doesn't necessarily make them a leader.  Some of the most influential leaders in organisations don't have a 'title' per se, but they are being followed.

If you were to go to a course, a retreat, or a gathering of say 20 people who had met each other for the first time, and watched, you would see the real characteristics of leadership at work.

People follow people.

Some experts say 'Leadership is all about influence' and that is true to a point.  To go further though is to look a little closer at that influence, as it could be perceived to be good or bad.

Natural leaders however inspire and encourage participation.  They attract that illusive ingredient called discretionary effort.  People follow because they want to, they're drawn to the person and what they stand for.  Natural leaders don't have to rely on manipulation and control to get people to come their way, or to get things done - no, they mobilise people through empowerment.

Much science exists around this subject, but the truth is, people genuinely follow best when they 'want' to, not because they 'have' to.

The best examples of leaders today are likely to include:

Those who are humble yet effective

Those who command respect by setting example

Those who inspire and instil belief.

The old box set series from the 2nd World War, 'Band of Brothers' is a great illustration as it clearly shows a leader exercising courage, respect, acknowledgement and care in a pressurised environment - all of which are great characteristics of a leader.

True leadership is about seeing these qualities at work in the person at the front.  When they are in evidence there will be plenty of others coming behind.

We can all recount times in our lives when we've received advice that has shaped our future. We may not have recognised or indeed liked it at the time, but looking back it was worth the discomfort. Most probably we were being mentored in some capacity, although we may not have realised it at the time.

When we break it down 'mentorship' is a relationship in which a more experienced or more knowledgeable person helps to guide a less experienced or less knowledgeable person.

The corporate world knows the value of this. According to an article in Forbes magazine, having a great mentor is a key factor to improving employee engagement among millennials. Millennials planning to stay with their employer for more than five years are twice as likely to have a mentor (68%) than not (32%).

Millennials. According to researchers Neil Howe and William Strauss, they define millennials as "as those born in 1982 and approximately the 20 years thereafter." In 2012, they affixed the end point as 2004. (Google).

The fast moving world of corporate business and the changing nature of the greatest asset, 'the people' is reason alone for the mentor to be considered.  When carefully selected, the mentor commands respect, brings stability, challenge, growth, maturity and improvement to teams with potential.

The soft skills of management can be developed whilst on the job with little disruption, and to great effect.

The power of mentoring is something that is growing in recognition amongst forward thinking companies and other influential organisations.  The results speak for themselves.

Actually, it’s a lot easier than you think. Our intentions are often misread by well meaning, but ill informed people and if we’re not careful we can be pigeon holed into a particular category by those who are quick to judge.

Recently, I heard a story of a woman who had an elderly relative she thought lived a very boring, non engaging life. Apart from work and family it was thought that this particular relative did nothing of any significance. That was until she died.

After her death people began to appear from all over the place with accounts of how this relative had helped them in so many ways. Others wrote genuine notes of condolence, sharing how they had been greatly impacted by this seemingly obscure life.

The woman from whom I heard this story was completely taken aback at the far reaching impact of her relative, a life that clearly had made such a huge impact in the world of so many. How wrong she had been.

The morale of the 'story' is exactly that, ‘We all have a story,' and it's not always visible to onlookers.  Not always do people brag about what they do.

Individual influence is not to be treated lightly. The truth is we all impact on the lives of those we come in contact with in some way.

We will either have a positive influence on their life, or a negative one.

Let's add to the lives we come in contact with rather than subtract from them.

I'm all for education, but so much of life is learned at a different school. We attend this one every day whether we realise it or not - the school of life is a big one and it's international.

It's good to remember the type of thing we learn at this school and I've listed a few lessons that have impacted on my life below:

• Never think that life is an entitlement - there is no such thing
• Always remember to live for today, tomorrow will take care of itself
• The challenges we face now never look as big when we look backwards
• Get out and travel a bit, particularly to somewhere less privileged - it's a good leveller
• Don't listen to those who would try to put you down - this kind of person has deep issues
• There is bad in the best of us, and good in the worst of us
• We all respond positively to a smile - don't let someone hang their coat on your bottom lip
• The capacity of a human being to achieve greatness is amazing - never say never
• We are only as confident as the words we use
• Negative people can spread their influence faster than we think
• Positive people are contagious
• If money is our only worry in life, we don't really have any worries then
• Imagination can paint some scary pictures
• Helping other people is the most fulfilling thing we will ever do

The school of life has no fees and the learning is free but it can cost a great deal.  It can test us in every area and stretch us in ways we never knew possible.  It is however a great privilege and we should live it to the very maximum each and every day

Are you a person who get things done, or are you known for over promising and under delivering?

Whether in business, relationships or life, this topic is alive and well with the satisfaction scale ranging from suitably impressed to being totally disappointed.  When a person takes on a commitment, they undertake responsibility to complete a task or range of tasks, usually within an expected time period.

It really doesn't matter if it's taking out the bin, dealing with an awkward situation or completing a project.  In principle, an undertaking is an undertaking.  There is a level of expectation associated with the task by those concerned, whether spouse, friends, workplace colleagues or superiors.

The question is "What do they see?"  Do they see a person who is reliable, or do they say to themselves, 'I don't hold out much hope for that to be completed.'

The workplace or business environment particularly, is a place where we hear comments ranging from:

• That person is a real finisher
• You only have to say the word and it will be done
• You don't have to concern yourself about it - they will sort it

to

• Don't bet on that being completed by then
• Don't tell me you left them to do it
• Hope you're in no hurry
• They're a complete disaster

The truth is, we all leave others with some kind of expectation when it comes to getting things done.

The question remains, 'Do we leave people with a confident expectation, or can we build one?'

What makes your eyes light up?

What is it that makes you come alive?

I remember a long time ago hearing of a young man who had just finished his studies and went to see a wise old family friend.  He said to the old man, 'Here I am, I have all my studies completed, what do you think I should do?  What do you think the world needs?'

The old man smiled and replied, 'Son, you're asking the wrong question.  The question you should be asking is, what makes you come alive; what makes you're eyes light up?  Go and find out what that is, and go do it, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.'

I've thought about this story often over the years and the message it carries for each of us. Life is a gift.  Also, it's not some kind of rehearsal for what's ahead - this is it!

Each of us can relate to being part of something that makes us come alive, yet so often we settle for much less.  We know what lights our eyes up.  We know what gives us a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction.

Why then do we spend so much time simply going through the motions of life?

Early in a new year it's a good time to reflect and ask ourselves these questions afresh.  It may be time for a change.  It may be time to do something we've never done before.  It might be that coming alive requires us to push out of the comfort zone a little.

Whatever it is, if it truly makes us come alive, those in our circle of influence will notice and benefit for sure.

Leadership is a subject, a craft that has been honed and debated for centuries.  It attracts all manner of discussion, enlightenment and revelation from many different practitioners and scholars, and has done so for hundreds of years.  It has throughout history brought us many examples of ordinary people rising up to a need or a cause, going on to inspire nations and changing mindsets, achieving what seemed impossible at the time and creating a vision for others to follow for generations to come.

Yet sadly leadership has also been responsible for some of the world's most horrendous and at times tragic outcomes internationally.  Dictators, abusing the use of power and privilege have taken advantage of vulnerable and defenceless people in desperate need of help and hope.

A lot has been done, or not done, in the name of leadership.

However, having said all that, leadership remains integral to our day-to-day lives in one way or another regardless of who we are, what we do or where we're from.

Something I've come to realise over many years and it's no rocket science really, yet some leaders struggle to see and understand it:

'People want to be treated a certain way.'

They don't want to be bullied, disrespected, taken for granted, or put down.  They don't want to be alienated, rejected or treated like a piece of dirt on a shoe.

No, every person, every human being wants to be appreciated.  They want to be shown respect and dignity.  They want to be inspired and encouraged.  They want to be valued and recognised as a person and not an object.

Perhaps, the leaders who are ego driven, self centred and full of self importance have a blind spot when it comes to understanding that people want to be treated a certain way.  Or, is it also the case that some of these same leaders can turn the false charm on and off to suit the audience or occasion.  This kind of leader also has a blind spot, because every around them can see that flaw except themselves.

When people are treated correctly, with dignity and respect, performance and achievement increases significantly.  More than that, the fully engaged team willingly goes the extra mile without being asked.

Why?

Because they are treated in a certain way.